Natalie Lane Eden, LLC
Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty
Quantity:
Subtotal
Taxes
Shipping
Total
There was an error with PayPalClick here to try again

Fully licensed Faith-Based Clinical Counseling
Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor (Illinois)
Licensed Professional Counselor (Pennsylvania)
My Blog
Blog
Tips for Life’s Journey: Along the Camino de Santiago de Compostela
Posted on August 23, 2015 at 3:48 PM |
![]() |
My
husband, my daughter, and I embarked upon the journey of a lifetime early this
summer from June 13 through June 23, 2015. In celebration of our 30th wedding
anniversary, we set out to walk the last leg of the Portuguese Way of the
Camino de Santiago de Compostela. The route began in Tui, Spain with its
destination ending in Santiago de Compostela, traditionally the location of the
crypt and remains of St. James, the Apostle. This segment of the Camino is approximately
100 kilometers. The
history of the Camino de Santiago de Compostela dates back well over 1000 years
with Christians making this pilgrimage since the Middle Ages. Today pilgrims can walk, bike, or take to the
path on horseback with a variety of objectives in mind, particularly spiritual. A minimum of 100 kilometers by is required to
obtain a “compostela” or certificate
in Santiago. Proof is obtained by having
a credencial stamped along the way. My
reasons for undertaking this journey were largely spiritual but also for enjoyment
and celebration of my marriage. Some of
my own personal insights gained along “The
Way” include: The key to
accomplishing anything is perseverance. It is not about being the best, the fastest, the
smartest, the nicest looking, or even good enough; the key to success is simply
not giving up. The fastest person doesn't always finish the race. A slow and steady pace is particularly relevant
for the long haul. One can quickly lose
steam along the first few kilometers and deplete reserves needed to last the
entire 100 kilometers. Drinking up all
of the water and eating all of the granola at the first leg doesn’t get one very
far. I have often heard of individuals
in counseling say to me that it took them “a long time” to accomplish
something. I am always quick to add, “But
you did it!” So if it
takes several years to get a bachelor's degree or even a doctorate; so if it takes
a long time to get a promotion at the job; so if it takes forever to clean
through your living space; so if it seems like it is takes forever to find a
soul mate. Whatever the situation might be--
don't give up--persevere. I always say,
if at first you don’t succeed: Pray, cry,
and try again! Don’t fret falling down but more importantly learn
to get back up and carry on. Don't get discouraged at the prospect of a fall,
but be encouraged at being able to get back up again. I didn't actually fall on
the Camino but the fear of falling definitely slowed me down. There were many slick surfaces, rocks to
climb, and paths to maneuver. Life in
itself has its series of slippery slopes that need to be conquered. The classic mark of a procrastinator is the
fear of failure. These types often do not even get past the starting line. But
the fall isn’t the problem nor the worst part of it. Remaining face down in the mud is. The
challenge with most addictions is being able to stay the course even after a
relapse. A cupcake binge should not get
one permanently derailed from a diet. Get
back up, shake the dust off, and then proceed the course. And if it happens to be an issue of a sinful
nature, Catholic Christians have recourse to starting anew through
participation in the Sacrament of Confession.
The old saying goes that Christians are definitely not perfect, but they
are forgiven. Isaiah 40:31: They that wait upon the Lord shall renew
their strength. They shall walk and not be weary. They shall run and not faint. It’s just as hard
going downhill. The hills on the
Camino were definitely challenging. Some
went on for a couple of miles or so. Climbing a hill can be extremely exhausting
especially when the temptation to turn back presents itself. But just as in life, there is no turning
back. One thing I quickly discovered is
that no matter how tough it was going up, going downhill was not any easier. It is a joy to arrive at the mountaintop. But
all roads do not end at the summit. What
goes up must inevitably come down. I
quickly discovered that a different set of leg and knee muscles were required
to make the descent. Life has its peaks
and valleys. We are presented with
unique challenges in each scenario.
Perhaps there are many uphill battles.
But it’s never all uphill. And we don’t necessary gain momentum going
downhill. Some of the worse crashes
occur at the foot of a mountain. Lives
can sometimes snowball when we don’t know how and when to put on the brakes. I remember in my days traveling in the Smokey
Mountains of Tennessee there would be sand banks along the side of the road for
runaway tractor trailers. The descent
must be made at a slow and steady pace. It’s not only all
about me. One principle taught in running a business as
well as learned in walking the Camino is that any group is only as fast and
efficient as its slowest member. In our
little walking trio-- the holdup would be me. My 52-year-old pace served as a
ball and chain for my 17-year-old and even my husband. However later on in the journey another’s
upset stomach or someone else’s toe blisters became concerns and affected our
progress in other ways. One has to learn
to be concerned with the disabilities and shortcomings of each other on the
same journey. If one of the members of
the group only has the capability to walk 10 kilometers a day, then the maximum
for that group is only 10 kilometers a day.
Productivity becomes a team effort. If one wins, we all win. If one is incapacitated, we all become
incapacitated. It’s in everyone’s best
interest to look out for each other. Be open to the
kindness and advice of others. One
encounters a lot of strangers along the Camino that become friends along the
way. Fortunately these days it is much
safer than back in the Middle Ages where pilgrims were often attacked, robbed,
and left for dead (thus necessitating the building of the Reyes Catolicos centuries
ago in Santiago which began as a hospice to help those who had been injured). Over the course of several days we encountered
many familiar peregrines. It’s important to be willing to accept help
from others, to be willing to ask for directions, and to be willing to give
assistance. But there is one caveat: Be careful about asking directions from a
cross-eyed person in a foreign country who doesn’t speak your native
tongue. We were trying to locate the
birthplace of St. Anthony of Padua when in Portugal and almost became lost
trying to find the patron saint of lost things!
Something got mixed up and lost
in the translation and we found ourselves going in the opposite direction. So the lesson here is to exercise prudence in
discerning good advice. On the other
hand, when we were in need of a taxi on another afternoon and asked a restaurateur
to call one for us, he volunteered to take us himself and he even tripped on
the pavement on the way to his vehicle.
Upon completion of the journey he refused to accept any form of payment. We were very grateful for his generosity. We heard
all sorts of advice about preparing and going on the Camino. My advice: it is all relevant and helpful. Just like in life those who have gone before have
something to say to us to help along the journey. It is prudent and wise to take their insights
into consideration. Small things
matter. For instance see
how long one can walk with a tiny rock in a shoe. Paying attention to detail is very important
along the journey: the weight of one’s
daypack is can make a significant difference.
Someone I know on the journey decided to bring three books along the
daily walk. After a day of lugging all
of that extra weight, that same person decided that only one book would suffice.
Be prepared but
also be willing to embrace the unexpected.
Getting lost once in a while is part of the journey. The best laid plans can run amuck. Fortunately most of our journey was under
sunny skies and the paths were well marked.
But we did have to contend with a heat wave that hit throughout that
part of Spain and dealt with temperatures that approached near 100 degrees F. We carried extra rain ponchos in our packs
but never had to use them along the Camino.
Most of our meals and lodging were planned ahead of time but we did have
occasions when it was difficult to find a place to have a bite for lunch and
dinner was often past 9 pm when we were used to eating at 5 or 6 pm at
home. I have often heard that the most
successful people in life are those who are willing to roll and adapt to the
curves and changes in life. Don’t expect to
lose in 7 days what accumulated over 7 years.
One hope
in walking 100 km was that I would lose a lot of weight. But the Camino is like in life. A temporary change in one’s physical activity
might cause a temporary weight change but permanent results don’t occur unless
there are permanent changes. This can
apply to whatever changes one wants to make in life. We have to be committed for the long haul. Have a goal. Figure out what motivates you. Having a goal and dividing it up into smaller
accomplishable tasks is helpful. We
would walk so far in the morning and then have a pre-determined amount of
distance to go in the afternoon. Often
as the morning dragged into the day, I looked forward to stopping along the way
to have a cappuccino or charcuterie at a certain milestone. Taking small breaks along the journey is
important. We often would pop into
Churches to cool down, admire the architecture of the buildings along the way, take
in a breathtaking view, or engage in a water break under a shady old bridge. But finally don’t
forget that the process of the journey is just as important as the destination. For some reason the Camino brought back
memories of my pregnancies. I carried
two healthy children to term. Although
each pregnancy was not easy and was full of challenges, I enjoyed each moment
of the process. Thanks be to God, at the end of those two pregnancies I experienced
the full joy of giving birth to my beautiful children. But at the same time I experienced some nostalgia
at the remembrance of the precious time of carrying them in my womb. I felt the same way about the Camino. With my Compostela
in hand, I was excited to have reached the final destination but simultaneously
was a little bummed that the journey had come to a conclusion. There were so many sites, experiences, and
friends that were encountered along the way. I actually wouldn’t mind going on
another Camino! The Good
Walk. There is a manner in which Pilgrims
greet each other along the Camino: “Buen
Camino!” Which in Galacian translates
as” have a good walk” or can even take on deeper meaning in signifying, “follow
the right path.” Fortunately it was a
very good Camino indeed! Much can be said about discerning the good path and following God's will in our lives! |
The “Little Way”of St. Therese a Cure for OCD?
Posted on June 21, 2014 at 1:30 PM |
![]() |
What does a Carmelite nun who lived during the late 1800s in France
have to do with overcoming the obsession thoughts and/or compulsions that are
symptomatic of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? St. Therese (1873-1897), whose writings
composed the beautiful autobiography “The Story of a Soul”, died of
tuberculosis as a young adult, yet her message endures to this day. She was declared a Doctor of the Catholic
Church in 1997 because of her simple yet profound approach to the spiritual
life. Her concepts can even be utilized
by those who struggle with the neurobiological effects of OCD with amazingly
successful results according to a book by Dr. Ian Osborn a Christian
Psychiatrist. What is Obsessive Compulsive
Disorder (OCD)? OCD is a disorder of the brain and behavior that causes severe anxiety
and interferes with a person’s ability to carry out the activities of daily
life. It can be described as the mind
getting stuck on a thought or image that replays over and over like a broken
record. The brain is biologically tricked into thinking that it is experiencing
danger. “OCD has become the 10
leading cause of disability in the developed countries”(Reichenberg, DSM-5
Essentials, 2014). The DSM-5 (the
professional guide used by mental health professionals) defines OCD as being
significant for “the presence of
obsessions, compulsions or both.” Obsessions are (1) “recurrent and persistent thoughts, urges, or
impulses that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as
intrusive and unwanted, and that in most individuals cause marked anxiety or
distress. (2) The individual attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts,
urges, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action
(i.e., by performing a compulsion).” Compulsions
are defined by (1) “repetitive behaviors
(e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying,
counting, repeating words silently) that the individual feels driven to perform
in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied
rigidly. (2) The behaviors or mental
acts are aimed at preventing or reducing anxiety or distress, or preventing
some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts are
not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or
prevent, or are clearly excessive.” Of additional note:
“The obsessions or compulsions are
time-consuming (e.g., take more than 1 hour per day) or cause clinically
significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important
areas of functioning.” The symptoms
are not attributable to the use of a substance, medical condition, or another
mental disorder. Traditional Forms of Treatment
for OCD Traditional forms of treatment for OCD include cognitive-behavior
therapy in addition to medications such as serotonin reuptake inhibitors. Jeffrey Schwartz in his book Brain Lock:
Free Yourself from Obsessive Compulsive Behavior (1996) suggests a
4-step approach to cognitive therapy for OCD which has been effective for some
clients. The steps include: (1) Relabeling
by recognizing that the thoughts and behaviors are the result of OCD and not from
realistic worries. (2) Reattributing it to being caused from a
biochemical imbalance in the brain. (3) Refocusing by doing a meaningful
activity other than trying to stop the obsession, and finally (4) Revaluing the need to perform the
obsession which in itself causes it to weaken. Therapy of Trust According to psychiatrist, Ian Osborn in his book, Can Christianity Cure Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (2008), “in therapy of trust the emphasis is
shifted. It is not the rationality of an
obsessional fear that is questioned, but rather who should take responsibility
for it (p. 161).” The responsibility
is shifted to God. His three-step method
for Christian OCD sufferers includes: 1.
Recognize
obsessions when they strike.
According to Osborn: “Obsessional thoughts are intrusive, repetitive, completely unwanted, and recognized (at least in a moment of quiet reflection) as being inappropriate to be thinking. They possess a unique quality that psychiatrists refer to as “ego-alien”: It is as if they come from outside one’s normal sense of self.” These thoughts pose themselves as having an unrealistic feel of urgency. 2.
Transfer
responsibility to God. Obsborn
further states: “…Individuals suffer from obsessions because of an excessive sense of responsibility for harm to self or others. The tormenting thoughts can be put to rest when the responsibility for harm is transferred to another person.” In this therapy responsibility is transferred to God. 3.
Prove
your trust; resist compulsions. According to Osborn: “OCD
sufferers need to make a concerted effort to lessen their performance, because
they consume time, cause embarrassment, injure health, and in the long run
cause obsessions to become even stronger. For religious individuals, there is yet
another reason to limit compulsions: to prove their trust in God…Devout individuals
with OCD must work to resist compulsions. In doing so they demonstrate or
prove, both to God and to themselves, how much they trust Him and love Him.” OCD can actually be viewed as an
opportunity for spiritual growth. This
is where the Little Way of St. Therese comes in. As we can see that trying to “trust God” is potentially
wrought with its own set of scrupulosities. What is “The Little Way” of St.
Therese of Lisieux? According to the Society of the Little Flower, the Little Way by St.
Therese was based on the two ideas that (1)God shows love by mercy and
forgiveness; and (2) one cannot be perfect in following the Lord in this life. Her understanding of being a disciple of
Christ stems from seeking holiness in the ordinary and everyday life. Her “Way” is one of complete trust and surrender
to God like that of a little child. It
is complete abandonment to God believing that no matter what happens, God is in
control. In the Therapy of Trust for OCD, the sufferer transfers the
responsibility to God. According to
Obsorn who has been challenged with OCD in his own life, this shift has been a tremendous
source of healing. Self-empowered vs. God-empowered A lot of focus in traditional secular therapy is on self-empowerment. The fact that one transfers responsibility
outside of oneself can be a source of criticism from some in the psychological
arena. Therapists generally try to make
clients more and not less self-reliant. According to Osborn personality responsibility
plays a huge role in perpetuating one’s obsessional thoughts and compulsions. However, employing the tactic of transferring
responsibility to God makes sense in the context of religious faith. |
Impossible Situations and a Saint to Overcome Them
Posted on May 2, 2014 at 9:33 AM |
![]() |
Do you face an impossible situation that appears to be hopeless? Do you have feelings of desperation, depression, and even thoughts of giving up? Situations crop up in many people's lives that appear to have no relief in sight. However you are not alone, there is a saint in the Catholic Church that endured multiple lost causes. Although her experiences occurred hundreds of years ago, her methods of overcoming are still applicable for us today. And they are quite simple with help from God. The month of May observes May 22 as the observance of the Feast Day of St. Rita of Cascia, otherwise known as a saint for impossible causes and desperate cases. She lived from 1381 to 1457. She endured many things that otherwise seem quite impossible to most of us. 1. Domestic violence At twelve years old, St. Rita endured an arranged marriage to a wealthy and violent man named Mancini. Her young adulthood was characterized with physical and emotional trauma. He had frequent anger outbursts and she was mistreated and abused for nearly 20 years. Mancini was described as a corrupt person and was despised by the community. He made a lot of enemies. For these reasons abused women traditionally sought out the intercession of St. Rita. 2. Unfaithful spouse St. Rita dealt with years of infidelities from her husband. However she counteracted this with patience, love, humility, and kindness. After much prayer, fasting, and frequenting the Sacraments, St. Rita experienced a changed husband. Mancini repented of his ways and asked for her forgiveness. Her home then became a haven for peace, but unfortunately this lasted for only a short time. 3. Loss of spouse Due to his violent past, Mancini’s life was cut short when he was stabbed to death by enemies.This occurred right after his conversion. St. Rita became a widow at a young age with two children. 4. Loss of children Her two young sons became enraged with the murder of their father and vowed to carry out revenge once they became young men. St. Rita discouraged this for fear that they would lose their souls. She prayed to God for an end to the violence. Both her sons ended up contracting disease and died in a state of grace before they were able to carry out their Vendetta against their father’s slayers. 5. Thwarting of life goals St. Rita wanted to enter a convent during her youth, but her parents discouraged it and had arranged her marriage at a young age. Once she was widowed, she applied to the convent but was rejected. The nuns at the monastery were afraid to be associated with her due to the scandal caused by the murder of her husband. She persisted in her application and eventually they let her stay. It is claimed that she was miraculously aided by Saints John the Baptist, Augustine, and Nicholas of Tolentino to enter the locked and bolted convent at night. She ended up living out her life by the Augustinian Rule in Cascia, Italy. 6. A wound that would not heal She contracted an open wound on her forehead that festered and produced a stench which made it difficult for others to be near her. She likened this to a thorn that had inflicted the head of Christ. It is reported that after her death the sore emitted a smell comparable to roses. This is why prayer cards and images of St. Rita are often depicted with a wound in the middle of her forehead. She is also shown with a rose which represents her ability to intercede on behalf of lost causes. 7. Infertility During her early years at the convent, a superior wanted to test St. Rita’s obedience and required that she plant an apparently dead piece of wood. St. Rita was ordered to water and tend to this stick on a regular basis. Eventually the twig grew into a grape vine which bore fruit. The centuries old plant is reported to still be on the grounds of the convent today. Its leaves are crushed into a powder and given to the sick around the world. It is an example of her help to lost causes. 8. Bee stings St. Rita is also associated with bees.The day after her baptism, white bees swarmed around her face while she was in her baby crib. These insects went into her mouth without causing her any harm. Some believe that these bees foreshadowed her beatification by Pope Urban VIII whose family coat of arms featured the bee. 9. Physical decay The body of St. Rita is noted to remain incorrupt.This means that her flesh is still intact after centuries even though her body wasn’t properly entombed nor preserved. When her crypt was first opened for her beatification after 150 years, her skin was still its natural color. A church in Cascia, built in her honor in 1945, became a basilica in 1955. Her body, which is only slightly discolored, can still be viewed by pilgrims in a glass case at the basilica. Some say that her eyes have opened and closed on their own and that her body shifts from time to time. Her bizarre circumstances still make her a saint for modern day It must be emphasized that it is never advocated that a person stay in a violent and dangerous situation. However we can look to the example of St. Rita to find clues into how to cope with a difficult situation. Her life is a testimony to the power of prayer, fasting, and frequenting the Sacraments when seeking help with situations that appear to be unbearable. Throughout all of her challenges she remained diligent, humble, and faithful. She was deeply trusting in God. She endured some issues that were cultural specific, such as being forced into marriage at a young age, however her challenges are not quite unlike what some people have to deal with today. Prayer to St. Rita Dear Rita, model Wife and Widow, you yourself suffered in a long illness showing patience out of love for God. Teach us to pray as you did. Many invoke you for help, full of confidence in your intercession. Deign to come now to our aid for the relief and cure of [name of sufferer]. To God, all things are possible; may this healing give glory to the Lord. |
Categories
- Year of Faith, Jesus Knocking (1)
- Almsgiving (1)
- Charity (4)
- Lent (1)
- Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1)
- Following God's Will (7)
- Procrastination (2)
- Living in the present moment (1)
- Decision making (2)
- Divine Mercy (1)
- St. Faustina (1)
- Aging, birthdays, Sacred Heart of Jesus (1)
- Saints (3)
- St. Rita (1)
- Cousneling (4)
- Thomas A Kempis (1)
- Pilgrimage (1)
- Pope Benedict XVI resignation (1)
- Our Lady of Lourdes (1)
- Exaltation of the Holy Cross, Where's God?, Crucifixion (2)
- Forgiveness (4)
- Know oneself (1)
- You are loved (2)
- Padre Pio, Stigma, Bilocation, St. John Cantius Church (1)
- Hope, God's Promises (2)
- St. Teresa of Avila, Prayer (1)
- Thriving, coping skills, fight or flight, abundant life (8)
- Bartimaeus (1)
- Persistence (2)
- Seeking help (6)
- Christmas, Holidays, Advent (2)
- Parenting skills (1)
- Feast of the Holy Innocents (1)
- Suffering (4)
- Change and transitions (5)
- Sleep (1)
/